Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

25 Oct

Its the end of asexual awareness week (oct 19-25).

What is Asexuality?

An asexual (ace for short) is a person who doesn’t experience any sexual attraction.  Sexual attraction is defined as ‘the desire to do sexual acts to a person’.  What is defined as sexual changes from person to person.  Whether it be kissing, having sex, foreplay, making out, whatever.

Where can I go to learn more about asexuality?

The tumblr tag for asexuality is good, as is asexuality.org.

Asexuality is an umbrella term for a group of sexualities as well as a valid identity on its own.  Under the asexual umbrella, you will find demi-sexual, grey-asexual, lithsexual, cupiosexual, and various other terms.

Demisexual: A demisexual is someone who is only sexually attracted to people with whom they have established a close emotional bond.
Grey-asexual: Someone who identifies with the area between asexuality and sexuality, for example because they experience sexual attraction very rarely, only under specific circumstances, or of an intensity so low that it’s ignorable.
Lithsexual: Someone who experiences sexual attraction without the desire for it to be reciprocated.
Cupiosexual: in which one desires a sexual relationship, but feels no sexual attraction towards anyone.

Why is asexual representation important?

Without asexual representation, individuals won’t know it exists.  Take my story for example.

All throughout high school and college i felt different from others – they would talk about how “Derek is so hot” or “John is so sexy” and I never quite understood it.  Sure, they were cute, or good looking, but hot? sexy?  What are these terms, what does it all mean?  I had a few “crushes” on people, because it was expected of me to do so, but i never felt anything for the people.

After I started volunteering for have a gay day, I learned more about the lgbt world and found out that asexuality exists.  I went to christian schools growing up, so our sex ed was all abstinence only and only men and women have sex.  Which I now know is a lie – lots of people have sex with each other – it’s all good, as long as there is consent!

I realized I was asexual.  This opened up a lot of questions but also a lot of answers.  There are people like me out there.  Most people don’t understand.  They tell me “you just haven’t found the right person”  or “you can’t say you don’t like it until you’ve had it” (it = sex).  I never said I don’t like sex, dear persons.  I just said I am not sexually attracted to someone.  However, I also don’t like sex.  (Yes I have tried it).

So wait.  Why do some asexuals have sex?  How can you have sex without being sexually attracted to someone?

Easily!  You need to realize/be aware that sexual arousal, sex drive, and sexual attraction are three different things.
Sexual arousal suggests a physiological response; sex drive suggests a desire to respond to arousal or pursue sex; and sexual attraction suggests an experience of finding someone sexually appealing”
So while someone might be aroused, they might not find someone sexually appealing – arousal has nothing to do with sex.  Its why people get random boners – they’re not ready for sex, its just something their body does.
Asexual people are defined as asexual because other people aren’t sexually attractive in their minds (or the possibility of sex with other people isn’t particularly compelling). That does not mean that their genitals are incapable of arousal; it does not mean they’re necessarily unable to enjoy genital stimulation; it does not mean sex could not be physically pleasurable to them if they consented to have it.” “

So do asexuals date?

Yes.  They do.  There are many types of orientations and attractions.  There is romantic, sexual, aesthetic, and sensual orientations.  Asexuals can have any combination of orienations.  Biromantic asexual, homoromantic asexual, heteroromantic, panromantic, aromantic, etc.

asexualspectrumfromhuffpost

How do you know if you are asexual?

Are you sexually attracted to other people (of any gender)?  Do you feel the desire to do sexual acts to persons whom are attractive to you?  If yes, allosexual (not asexual).  If no, asexual.  Check out this link as well.

Asexual flag:

aceflag

asexualflag

Sources:

definitions: have a gay day, urban dictionary, this tumblr post,
arousal/drive/attraction
Image from huffpost

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